A typical day at the seaside

Today I had a day off. The plan was to spend it doing things in the area that I have not done for a while. A nice bike ride and a trip to the seafront, sitting in the sun, exploring the area etc. I was slightly less enthusiastic when I woke up as the promised heatwave had not materialised on the south coast and there was just one of those murky sea-hazes over everything. I spent the morning 'pottering' but by afternoon thought I had better venture out, as the sun appeared for a brief while. I soon realised why I don't go down to the seafront in the summer. Perry mortem tours had made a conference booking and were promenading en mass. I had never seen such an array of mobility equipment in my life (and my life has been spent prescribing it!). You had to have your wits about you to avoid being run down by a motorised chair or the dotto train! To escape the stress I sat down and ordered a coffee in one of the coffee bars on the seafront (run by a couple of surly but beautiful Latvians who were more interested in closing up as soon as possible.) After coffee I decided to take advantage of the toilet. I stood in the queue and listened to the shouts of a lady who really was 'locked in the lavatory'. I decided to wait! On the way home I stopped off in a park that is only 15 minutes walk away but I have never visited it. The Perry Mortem bowls afternoon was in full force. The 'whites' were truly brilliant, the lawn was the most vivid shade of green and immaculate, the roses were a brilliant shade of red. Concentration was evident on the faces of the players, the club room was lively, I overheard the end of a conversation between two players saying how tired they were. One was smoking a cigarette and the other was talking through an electronic voice box. A typical summer day in a seaside town!

Signs of ageing

I got a a letter the other day inviting me for my first mammogram. Now if Nessienora is reading this after her experience she will be encouraging me to go, and I will as I appreciate the value of free screening. Its just that I am not 50 until later on this year and somehow I was hoping I would have a gentle passage into the next decade and not have my age thrust into my face at the earliest opportunity!

They sent me an appointment for next week in the middle of Tuesday morning. Do they not think that people of 50 might be working and that it is quite difficult to arrange to have an hour or two out of the day with such short notice? The mobile screening unit is only in the area for two weeks and they had no other times on offer that I could make so I asked to re-arrange it for September.

"Well, we won't be in your area then..you'll have to travel"

"That's ok, its getting time off work that is more difficult. Do you do any evening sessions?"

"No, I'm sorry we don't. I'll cancel your appointment for you and you can phone us nearer the time."

I don't think they understand about forward planning!

A good victory

A 24 year old Italian called Riccardo Ricco won today's stage of the Tour de France. He put in what appeared to be a superhuman effort to speed past some of the best riders in the world going up a mountain. As Ian said "he went up that mountain faster that you would go down it". (This is a reference to my dislike of going fast downhill!). Ricco also won a stage on Thursday and when interviewed about the win he said that he had a brother who was killed in a motorbike accident and now he dedicates every success to him and his other brother, who is a footballer dedicates every goal. He said that he likes to think that he is there with him and enjoying his success. For me it sums up the motivation and determination that you need to succeed in the Tour. The other thing you need is a good team and Mark Cavendish certainly had that when they led him to within 100 metres of the finish line yesterday and he repaid them by out-sprinting everyone else to the line. He is only 23 and it is good to see such talent in the next generation. I only hope we don't learn later that it is drug fuelled.

17.07.08
I have to add a post-script here. Ricco has just been sent home after testing positive for EPO. I had my suspicions but am very disappointed. It does make me feel less inclined to watch it.

Teaching and learning conference

I am currently at a teaching and learning conference in a workshop on using blogs in assessment! Needless to say the topic has created much controversy about whether blogs are really suitable for higher level academic study. Someone has just accused blogs of being ephemeral and lightweight (and hence unsuitable for higher academic endeavour!). There was uproar but it didn't last long as it was time for coffee.

British cycling

I watched Cavendish win yesterday's stage of the Tour de France. He is currently the best sprinter in the world and the first British stage winner for 5 years. It was great to watch and he really deserved it after last year when he was well placed to win the second stage in Canterbury until a female spectator walked in front of him and knocked him off his bike. I don't know whether he would have won or not but the dream of a British stage win on home ground was ended there and then by a stupid and selfish act.

Cycling was also in the news yesterday after a cyclist on a mountain bike was fined £2000 for knocking over and killing a young girl who either stepped in front of him or refused to get out of his way. The story is quite complicated and it is hard to work out exactly what happened. It does sound like the man didn't make any attempt to stop when the teenagers were in the road and that can never be condoned; and I can also fully understand why the girls parents feel that the punishment was grossly inadequate. However, this story led the papers and press to publish a whole collection of anti-cyclist articles. There was quite a nice balance in the Times presenting what I thought was many sides of the argument. As a driver, cyclist and one time regular commuter on the bike I feel I have the right to add my bit!

1. Not all cyclists break the rules in the same way that not all motorists are mad psychopaths whose one aim is to knock off every bike rider they see.

2. In order to survive as a cycling commuter you have to believe the latter so that you can protect yourself against the one that is!

3. Sometimes it is safer for everyone if as a cyclist you bend a few rules. For example, it is safer to position yourself just ahead of cars at a junction so that they can see you and it is safer to be a little out from the side of the road for the same reason. It does make some car drivers annoyed but at least they see you.

4. Most cyclists are insured; either through their household insurance, car insurance or through membership of a cycling organisation.

5. It is quite possible to accidentally kill someone when you are riding a bike. Downhill the bike will go as fast as a car (something that often seems to infuriate some car drivers who feel like they should overtake no matter what).

6. The consequence of any scrape between me on a bike and a car will always be worse for me (so it is in my best interest not to get into one).

7. Cyclists do pay tax that adequately covers their use of the roads, either through income tax or through motor vehicle tax (most cyclists own cars as well).

8. Sometimes pedestrians just don't look out for bikes. When they see me (and I do not cycle on pavements unless it is legal for me to do so) they jump and say 'get a bell'. Well, I have tried a bell and it is not heard above the traffic! If it is, it also causes people to jump out of their skins and in their shock and then they usually walk in front of me! I have tried coughing loudly, squealing my breaks, saying politely 'excuse me please' or 'just behind you' and all of it produces a startled response.

9. Pedestrians sometimes think that if I cycle more slowly it will be safer. This is not necessarily true as at very slow speeds it is more difficult to control the direction of the bike.

10. It is very difficult to hand signal as you are going down hill and braking!

Graham the grasshopper

This little creature was on my car this morning when I left the swimming pool. He seemed to like it and didn't want to leave. I thought he would go when I drove to work but I was surprised to see him on the roof at 5.00pm. He stayed with me to the supermarket, hitching a ride on the bonnet, and he was still on the car this evening. He shows no sign of leaving and I can't really understand why he likes the car so much. I think he is a grasshopper and I have decided to call him Graham (although I am a bit worried that he may be a girl!)

Speed dating

Brief Encounters That Last (Research Networking/ "Speed Dating" Event)
Middle Street, Joan Bakewell Theatre24th July 2pm
Final places remaining - Deadline for applications - Friday 6th July 2008

This message (with the accompanying picture) was circulated at work recently. We have now moved on from the sandpit to the latest trend in management speak and that is 'speed dating'!

According to wikipedia

speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people

and it goes something like this:

Men and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short "dates", usually lasting from 3 to 8 minutes depending on the organization running the event. At the end of each interval, the organizer rings a bell or clinks a glass to signal the participants to move on to the next date.

Based on this principal a special event has been organised to enable people from across the university to introduce themselves to each other and decide if they like each other enough to work togther. If it is anything like the real thing then I am very glad that I am busy doing something else on that day! I think the people in the research development unit have been watching too much Sex and the City!

What's in a name 2

One of the slightly irritating things about emails is the jingoistic signature lines that employers add at the end of every message sent from their server. One of my students works for a local NHS trust. On the bottom of all her emails she is forced to put this little line: Help us to be the best we can be ...A rather strange comment and does not fill me with confidence at the level of care I might expect! It is like the one we all had to use about 10 years ago Working towards equal opportunities which basically meant we can continue to employ you without offering you a full time contract, insist that you sign away your rights to redundancy although you must give us two months notice if you want to leave!

Also, when I used to get letters or emails from various parts of the NHS I could tell where they came from by the name of the Trust or organisation. Therefore, people working and providing a service in Enfield would work for Enfield Trust and if you worked in a hospital the chances are the location would be in the title. Now things are not so straightforward!
Try to work out where these are!
2gether NHS Foundation Trust (by far the most irritating)
5 Boroughs Partnership NHS Trust
Calderstones NHS Trust

The 5 Boroughs Trust is committed to helping staff acheive a work-life balance and spends money publishing a newsletter called the juggler where you can read about managing your stress and making a will (at a 10% discount). I hope the two events are not connected!

Hairy llamas

One of the places that we went through on our bike ride the other week was a rare breeds farm. They had the standard strange cows, sheep and pygmy goats, but also these.

They caused much confusion amongst the visitors. Were they sheep, goats, llamas? I think I now know enough about the camelids to say that these fine looking creatures are alpacas; in need of a good haircut! You can pick up a male alpaca in the UK for £250 although top quality breeding suri alpacas, the ones with the ringlets, go for £6000 and more! Might be tempted to have a couple in France to add interest!

(Thanks to Simon for the photos)

Tennis

I'm quite glad Nadal won the men's singles at Wimbledon this year but I'm afraid I just can't watch tennis. The atmosphere is so tense that I feel my blood pressure increasing by the second and as much as I can appreciate the fantastic match I just have to make myself busy doing other things during the rallies and call out to Ian all the time "who won that point?" I think it's that I can't bear to see the look of dejection on the face of the looser and the intense concentration and frustration as the points go too and fro.

Getting money for old rope

Over the past week I have been anxiously watching my first ever item for sale on Ebay! I have bought a few things from there in the past but this time I had something to sell. When I moved into my house the previous owner had left an old fireplace in the shed. She told me she had found it in a skip and decided to rescue it with the idea of restoring it or using it somewhere but had never got round to it. It had been in my garage for 5 years and I had never got round to doing anything with it either so decided to either try and sell it or give it away. I took a picture of it, set up an account, wrote a brief description and listed it for sale with no reserve as I just wanted to get rid of it! It was a pretty tatty looking original 1930s fireplace but it seemed to generate a lot of interest and I was delighted when it sold today for a good deal more than I had hoped! Now I truly have the bug and am desperately looking around for other items to sell! I want to get a digital camcorder and have seen a nice one for £400. I need to sell quite a lot of junk to get enough to buy that! Truth is, if I really wanted to buy it I have the money but I am quite enjoying the idea of 'earning' it!

The proper start of summer

I know summer is really here now as today was the first day of the Tour de France. I shall be in front of my television every night to watch the highlights. Ian and I still have a souvenir from last year; a road sign 'tidied up' from the side of the road somewhere in South London! We will find a nice place to put it in the house in France!

1000 and counting

I have now had 1000 visitors to the blot since I put the counter thing on it!

Remembering the weekend!

Today I am sitting at home marking. This is not the most exiting way to spend the day and I have to battle with myself constantly to stop myself from watching the tennis or from blogging as both activities are considerably better than marking! I spend quite a bit of time reading emails as well and one of those emails was from Ian, who sent me some photos from our ride in Kent the other week. I have added a couple of photos. One is of Ian and the other is of the Lovely family!

A plentiful harvest

As usual my fruit bushes have gone mad and I have more blackcurrants and redcurrants than I know what to do with! I still have a freezer full of last years supplies and jars of redcurrant jelly and blackcurrant jam waiting to be eaten! I made some blackcurrant cordial this weekend. (My neighbours kids liked it..they said it tasted like watered down jam!) If anyone has any recipes for different things to do with blackcurrants and redcurrants I would be more than grateful!

Wearing a hard-hat is better than having a hole in the head!

This is what Ian said today. We were cutting a very tall hedge. Ian was at the top of the ladder and I was at the bottom putting things in the shredder. Ian insisted that I wore the nice hard hat he bought me, I objected to the hat on aesthetic grounds but was over-ruled. (Ian wore a hat, visor and ear-protectors). I wonder if I am really going out with Health and Safety man!

Searching for ladies

I do find it quite interesting to see how people get to my blog and the key words they have used to get here. Llama cake and fanny farm are still favourites but a new one has appeared lately. Searches for "wet ladies swimming" take them to The ladies that don't get their hair wet. Again, not want the searchee was looking for I am sure!

The decision tree

I have been driven to distraction by the way decisions seem to be made at work! This seems to be the format.

The vice -commander gets told what the budget is for next year. Somehow it is always less than it should be but the commander-in-chief always manages to convince the vice-commander that it is the same as last year even though it is less.

Vice-commander writes down lots of figures and numbers on a scrap of paper and then looses it. Vice commander then calls a 10 minute meeting with her wing commanders and asks them what they think. Wing commanders ask for the budget to be explained and for some detail about what the options are but by this time the 10 minutes is up and everyone is on holiday the following week.

Vice-commander decides to meet with each one of the troops individually to ask them what they would like to do next year. She is often surprised and taken a back when what they want to do is not what she wants them to do.

Vice-commander ignores the problem for 2 weeks and in the meantime the troops get restless and unsettled and mutter amongst themselves. Requests are made for clarity.

Vice-commander calls another urgent meeting with the wing commanders but they are all away.

Vice-commander meets again with a few individual troop members that happen to be in the corridor.

Troops get even more unsettled. Vice-commander is away on a course so the troops decide to sort it out without her and make a decision.

This means that the troops can then get on with the strategic planning for next year.

Order is restored.

Sisters tales

My sister told me more about her performance at the triathlon world championships in Canada.

"The water was really cold..but when you look at the sea temperatures in Vancouver for the last 15 years they are often cold this time of year so the organisers must have known that was a possibility"

"There were 4 rescue canoes for 100 swimmers. I got in the water and by the time I reached the first buoy I couldn't feel my arms and legs as I was so cold and numb. I wanted to get out but the rescue boats couldn't see me. In fact it was so rough two out of the four rescue boats capsized. I couldn't get my breath and thought I was going to drown"

"After this the organisers decided that they couldn't guarantee the safety of the competitors abandoned the swim"

"It wasn't a good race for me but in the end I was glad I managed to finish. I was so cold in transition the marshalls had to help me do up my cycle helmet and jacket. They are not supposed to help you but I was too cold to do it."

"Will you look after my cat temporarily for 6 months so that I can move in with my boyfriend?"

Communication difficulties

I have been dipping into 'lady behave' again and found this wonderful quote about modern slang circa 1956.

Slang is no longer 'distinctly common' but it is distinctly dating. Today's young men around town currently use Pa, Ma, the Chums, madly, the hols, blissful, the chaps and Charley...their parents used to say, 'Let's make whoopee tonight, ducky', don't be a twirp, you talk absolute bilge', or 'we'll beetle along to the flicks'.. none of it is a question of 'the best taste' any more. It is just a question of age group. (I am not sure what 'Charley' is referring to in this quote but 'Charlie' in current speak is slang for Cocaine).

I got into this topic after a conversation at work where we were talking about the modern dialect that children seem to use now. It is a kind of mix of West Indian and Cypriot accent with a ghetto slang mixed in. As far as I can tell there are very few consonants. (Last weekend I was at Ian's and two young lads were walking up the road behind me. I really couldn't follow any of the conversation although I guess that was the idea! Perhaps they use a lot of high tones that us oldies can't hear!)

On searching for modern equivalents I came across the following phrases that I had never heard of! : (They apply to Generation Z - People born between 1990 and 1999)
Backup - A close friend who you would be willing to marry, at a certain date or age, if things don't work out with someone else.
Fives ("I call 5's") - declaration that an occupied chair or sitting space is reserved for a short time, at least 5 minutes
Four Twenty (4:20) (420) (4-20) - Twenty minutes after four is known as the time to smoke pot, generally parents aren't home yet.
ifter - whereas "after" assumes that a certain event will take place, "ifter" grants some leeway about the events leading to a possible outcome. ("We'll talk about the trip later, ifter you get your parent's permission.")
MILF- a mother i'd (typically a teenage boy) like to fraternize with
Poppins - perfect, like Mary Poppins, in every way
Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship, introduced as “This is Chris, my... um, friend.”
I suppose the principal of slang has not changed!