Cornerstones

The builders seem to have found a new lease of life and suddenly things have progressed at the house (probably because he wants to finish and be paid and get us out of his hair)! Ian has been receiving daily updates with pictures of the work and requests for money!

They have finishing off the outside and putting some cornerstones on the building prior to it being rendered. These are made of reconstituted stone as the real things would be far too expensive. They are a bit 'mockney-chav' but hopefully will look okay once the building is rendered.

We also have mock lintels across the tops of the windows (Ian changed his mind about the arched windows) and a keystone in the middle of front door lintel.

Wildlife

Apart from the woodlice infestation we have also noticed that there are a vast array of other insects, bigger and bolder than any we have seen before. Here are two of them.

This one is a little stick insect that seemed to like our wall. It didn't seem to do much other than look like a stick with legs.

This one is rather large beetle that Ian found in the cellar. He seems to be waving!

Over the rainbow

The day the builders arrived it was showery.
"It always rains when we are here" said one of them rather grumpily! Fortunately it did not last long enough to stop them in their work. At the end of the day a sudden shower appeared followed almost immediately by the sun. I looked out to see if there was a rainbow and sure enough, there was the most amazing double rainbow that seemed to end in the corner of our field. Living most of my life in the city I don't think I have ever seen such a complete rainbow before. We have not yet found the pot of gold but we are hopeful!

That evening Ian went from our bedroom area into the lounge and found that we have a little bat living with us. I rather like the French word for a bat, la chauve-souris or 'bald mouse'! It is supposed to be lucky to have a bat living in the house.

Return of the builder

After several cold sunny days, the weather changed and the clouds appeared bringing the rain. Along with it came the illusive builder. We returned after eight weeks to find that nothing had been done on the house and Ian was fast beginning to lose faith. However, as if by magic we had a message last night to say that the builders would be over today to render the cellar. Ian and Warren’s array of drains and pipes seems to have worked and the cellar was bone dry; enough for the builders to apply a coat of waterproof render to the inside. The down side of this is that we have to be up and dressed by 8.00 a.m. and as it is damp there is claggy mud all through the house. A small price to pay however, for another step towards the finished product!

We have been less successful re-engaging the services of Warren, who is supposed to be finishing off the fosse septic. We have heard tales of broken diggers, borrowed diggers not turning up, lost drivers, wet weather and submitting the plans to the wrong SPANC and we have seen Warren for 5 minutes yesterday. Tomorrow is our last day so we will see if he returns!

Merde!

18.10.09


Well the weather has been sunny and clear during the day but the promise of warmer temperatures has not materialised! Another cold night prompted Ian to insulate the space above our temporary living area and make a temporary door so that any heat we have does not immediately disappear into the unfinished lounge. He has also been fitting the soffits in an attempt to seal off potential woodlice routes. The cold seems to have slowed their progress but the odd one or two are still finding their way in and this does not bode well for next year. Before laying the insulation Ian vacuumed up a bucketful of woodlice corpses and behind every item there are piles more!

This morning we were woken up by a loud bang. Sunday is the day of le chasse here and at dawn two huntsmen were out looking for partridge or pheasant in our fields. They weren’t very successful and in their wanderings came across our temporary sewerage pipe, which must have been very pleasant for them! Not to be deterred they returned at dusk but were no more successful. My guess is that most of the wildlife keeps a low profile on a Sunday as I saw the partridge happily pecking in our field yesterday. Let’s hope he lived to see another week!

Joys of getting older

Now I am menopausal I note with joy that I now no longer need to carry round a bag with tampons and towels in various sizes and thickness, spare knickers and painkillers. However the contents of my wash bag now includes a range of alternative products that I never needed in the past. These include haemorrhoid cream, indigestion tablets, tweezers (for the stray facial hairs) and special dental tape to clean under my bridge!

Woodlice and winter

The day we arrived at the house the temperature dropped from a balmy 15 degrees at night to freezing or below! As we got out of the van the cold took our breath away but before we could make up the bed and huddle together to keep warm we had to clear up the aftermath of a woodlice infestation that seems to have targeted our house and those of our two closest neighbours. As we walked into the house their remains crunched under our feet making it sound like we walking on sea shells. The dead woodlice were an inch thick in places and pretty much everywhere. Their decaying carcasses gave off a smell rather like dried nasal mucous!

Eventually we cleared up a space for the bed and went to sleep, disturbed from time to time by the cold. Despite the thick duvet it really was cold for October! The following morning our macerator got stuck and when Ian went to investigate he found a solid lump of ice holding up proceedings. He also discovered that two metres of our pipe had been chewed up by rats, in an attempt to get at the juicy contents!

The following day we got ourselves organised. The fan heater worked well in keeping the temperature bearable and I cleaned up the kitchen and bathroom area so at least they were woodlice free. Our temporary electric supply means that if we run the water heater and the fan heater we can’t run anything else so we had to prioritise the equipment that we needed. The other problem is that by the time the electricity reaches the house down the 150 metre cable the voltage drops from 240 to about 190 which means that everything runs very slowly!

As I write this the temperature is rising. The builder’s father-in=law arrived yesterday and said that the moon changes this weekend and that means the weather will change. The forecast suggests it is getting warmer!

Wrong number

My mother gets quite a lot of nuisance marketing calls as she has never got round to registering her number for the telephone preferencing service. She is nearly 80 years old and getting out of the chair is an effort, so when the phone went this evening she reluctantly got up and picked it up. She heard a man's voice.

Hello..

Hello..she answered, cautiously, expecting a sales pitch.

Well have you got your knickers on now?

 She was a little shocked

Who's calling? she asked.

John, the gardener

John, the gardener??

Oh my God.. I think I've got the wrong number. He said with acute embarrassment in his voice

Yes you have! Goodbye!! and with that she hung up!

Off again

I don't know where the last six weeks have gone but here we are in October already and Ian and  I are off to France again; this time with the intention of finishing off a few jobs before the winter. We are still aiming to be out there next year so I expect some of the time will be spent trying to plan for that. Will try to make one or two posts while there!

National poetry day

Today was national poetry day and so I decided to send my colleagues a poem. I hunted around and I found this one which I thought was rather appropriate.

TOADS by Philip Larkin

Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life?
Can't I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive the brute off?

Six days of the week it soils
With its sickening poison -
Just for paying a few bills!
That's out of proportion.

Lots of folk live on their wits:
Lecturers, lispers,
Losels, loblolly-men, louts -
They don't end as paupers;

Lots of folk live up lanes
With fires in a bucket,
Eat windfalls and tinned sardines -
They seem to like it.

Their nippers have got bare feet,
Their unspeakable wives
Are skinny as whippets - and yet
No one actually starves.

Ah, were I courageous enough
To shout Stuff your pension!
But I know, all too well, that's the stuff
That dreams are made on:

For something sufficiently toad-like
Squats in me, too;
Its hunkers are heavy as hard luck,
And cold as snow,

And will never allow me to blarney
My way to getting
The fame and the girl and the money
All at one sitting.

I don't say, one bodies the other
One's spiritual truth
But I do say it's hard to lose either,
When you love both.

Cultural sensitivity

I wrote in a previous post about the French custom of kissing on the cheek when you meet a friend or acquaintance and that there were various customs and cultural rules about who you should kiss and how. Of course you can also use the fact that you are English and not sure about these customs to your advantage. Ian had to engage in some tricky negotiations about his contract last month with his agency. They are based in Belgium and the negotiator is a rather formidable woman who looks a bit like this.

 After some heated discussions they finally came to agreement but there was definitely some tension between them. When the agent visited them all at work last week Ian approached her with firm bize on each cheek and made her very flustered as she obviously couldn't tell whether he was just being a bit culturally naive or trying to take the p*ss!

On my doorstep

Last week I went for a walk up on the downs from my house. I can't remember the last time I did it. When I first moved here I walked up there nearly every week but familiarity breeds contempt and now I take it for granted. The walk reminded me of what I have on my doorstep. I walked up the hill through the woods to Butts Brow and then up along the ridge to the South Downs way.

From there, I walked a little way along the South Downs way until I reached the trees and the path that leads down to my house. All in all the walk is about an hour and a half . One thing I love about being up there is that you can see the sea on three sides, making you feel that you really are at the edge of the country!

The parakeets of London

Ian’s mother lives in North Cray, just inside the M25, to the South East of London. Her bungalow backs on to a meadow that is usually full of horses and she has a lovely view from her garden. However, there are some rather unusual birds in the area that are not known to be native. The trees echo to the squawks of a troop of parakeets and the brightly coloured birds hurtle around her garden from tree to tree.

A couple of weeks ago Ian and I went for a walk in Foots Cray meadows and I saw some there, nestling in the chestnut trees. I tried to take a photograph and if you look very closely you may just see their outline hidden in the trees!

Apparently, despite their exotic appearance they have been breeding and living happily in London for years, unbothered by the less than tropical climate!

Hublet 2

This is a Hublet. We are not quite sure what it is and what it does!

Hublet

I managed to avoid going to a staff meeting yesterday which was just as well as in the mood I am in at the moment I think I would have found it hard to make any constructive comments. One of the things being presented was the new research strategy, which to me just looked like a cheap re-launch of the old strategy in that there are four groups and we have to decide which one we want to align ourselves with. Today those of us that weren't there received this email.

If you were at the School Full Staff meeting yesterday afternoon, thank you for all your post-its indicating which Research Groupings and/or Research Hublets you are interested in. I have transferred the data onto the attached spreadsheet which shows all groups and hublets and your preference. Feel free to add your name to other groups and hublets and let me know.

Now this confused me as I have never heard of a hublet and it seems neither has the dictionary. Could it be a made-up word? We are running a competition to see who can come up with the best definition of a hublet and one of my colleagues made one from a pom pom.

It's a dog's life

One of the things I am really looking forward to when we eventually get to France is to have a couple of dogs. I have always loved the idea but never been in the position where I could give one a fair life. There are plenty of abandoned dogs and puppies in France so I am sure when we were there we will have no difficulties in finding one suitable. However, Ian has always had a soft spot for Jack Russells and he has had part ownership of one before and knows their little foibles quite well. Jack Russells are quite rare in France but in the UK they are common and often find their way into animal rescue centres as they can be more of a handful to manage than people expect. I think we would make quite good dog owners. We will have the space, we are fit and energetic and would enjoy a dog that needs a little more than a bowl of food and its tummy rubbed once a day.

So, with that in mind I started looking on various websites for Jack Russells in need of rescue. There were quite a few but in all cases Ian and I would not qualify as prospective doggy parents because we both work full time and all agencies have a policy about not allowing dogs to go to homes under these circumstances. Also, they will not allow us to take a dog out of the country. In addition we have never actually owned a dog before which means they will not let us take on any dog that may be more challenging. (The fact that we have chosen not to have a dog before because we did not feel that we could offer one a good home is not taken into account and we are placed in the same category as someone who has never owned a dog and is not interested in them).

I do understand the thinking behind this but it is just an interesting reflection that if you have two children then you are positively encouraged to go out to work full time and leave your children in day care!

Ian's neighbour Chaverley has two children and has just acquired a large dog as 'a favour to a mate'. The dog is very good natured which is just as well as although she doesn't work at all she still leaves him shut in the house all day while she goes out!

Ban 'La bise'

French lessons have resumed and last week in the class we had to bring in a photo of something to discuss. Someone brought in this photo (originally from the daily mail) of Carla Bruni with

Nicolas Sarkozy, indulging in what the French call 'la bise' or the little peck on the cheek that the French do when they meet. Apparently the French government have decided that in the event of a swine flu epidemic they will ban 'la bise'. We discussed this in our class and quickly concluded that this would be impossible to enforce; a view that seems to be shared by many French people!

I wrote an entry about the kissing custom last year, where unfortunately I spelt bise incorrectly and referred to the practice as a bissou. Bisou (with one 's' and not two) means a kiss and I guess that explains why the most common keyword used to access my blog through a search is Bissou. Those reaching the blog in this manner are usually from web addresses in places where neither English nor French are the native tongue and I would guess they are hoping to find a site about French kissing!

Woodlice

We had a problem with an unexpected pest in France. The first few days were okay although there were the usual selection of flies, ants, beetles, wasps, millipedes and hornets. However, we began to notice an increasing number of woodlice as the week went on. These appeared mostly at night and would start by crawling across the floor, then the walls and then finally the ceiling. After their long creep they seemed to loose their balance and fall off the wall, often on to our heads or the bed. During the night we could hear them falling off the metal ceiling rails onto the plasterboard and by the end of the three weeks they were like a water torture! Ian would get up to go to the toilet in the early hours and put on the light. We would then see the army of woodlice marching relentlessly across the ceiling and Ian would attack them with the vacuum cleaner. It was quite a sight. Ian, naked apart from his slippers, chasing the woodlice around the room with a vacuum hose!

Belated progress pictures

One of the things I have been meaning to do since we've been back from France is to put up some more pictures of our progress over the summer but I have been distracted by work and other things and before I know it we are booking tickets for a return trip in October! However today we had an email from our neighbours telling us that they have had some heavy rain so had gone over to check our cellar and to see if the elaborate arrangement of pipes, drains and gravel had done the trick and cured the flooding problem.

Fingers crossed, it might have worked as the cellar and the sump were bone dry! Anyway, it prompted me to finish off this post.

Ian's first job was to run the pipes for one of the guest bathrooms. The pipes and wiring need to be in place before we can close the walls and the walls need to be closed before we can lay the heating pipes.

This proved a long and complex job. Ian is quite fussy about it all looking neat and as you can see from the charcoaled board, soldering the pipes in place was a challenge. Must remember to put a fire extinguisher in next trip! The trick now is to test the pipes to make sure they don't leak before we seal the wall. (We don't know yet how we will do this!)

The main achievement however was to do some of the groundwork. Up until now we have never had a proper entrance and the builder, perplexed by the flooding cellar, had merely left it un-rendered and with a great ditch in front of the front door. The way in was over a pile of old pallets which we referred to as our moat and drawbridge!

Well, with the help of Warren the moat has been filled and we have a proper path leading up to the front door!

Sales pitch

When marking or reading things for work I find I get much more done in the quiet of my own living room. So, this afternoon I settled in to experience the joys of MSc research dissertations. Twenty minutes in the doorbell rang. A young lad with a clipboard was standing on the step and as he could see me sitting there I thought I ought to answer. He appeared rather shifty and a little nervous and then started into his sales pitch."Hello, how are you today?"
I felt like answering "What the f*ck is it to do with you. I've never seen you before in my life and already you're talking to me as if you've known me for years" but instead I say "okay" and try to push the door towards closed. Sadly, the opening line was the most fluent the salesman ever got as he then got into his prepared script to try to get me to sign up for some gas company that would save me money ('yes sure, so why do they pay you to tell me about it'..but you know they have a prepared script to answer that one and I really must get back to my marking). "I'm already with Scottish Power" I say , "and I have spoken to someone recently about the bill". (After all, he is only some poor lad taken from the 'welfare to work' scheme and obviously not really wanting to make a living doing this so no need to be rude). "Well, can you show me your last bill" said the lad , a little aggressively. "No", I said, getting irritated. "Oh, why not?" he said more aggressively. "Because it's none of your business, go away!", I said, crossly and shut the door. This did not deter him and he continued to ring on the door bell and bang on the glass for a further 5 minutes. I think he probably did his training in a young offenders institution!

Back to marking and half an hour later the door bell rang again. This time there was a young man and woman on the doorstep. My heart sank when he started with the same introduction. "Hello, and how's things today?" he said with a pseudo cheerfulness! "Do you have a BT Phone?"This time I managed to dispatch them a little quicker by just smiling sweetly and saying no thank you and shutting the door. He tried to wheedle his way in with a few niceties but this time I just didn't listen.

Back to the marking....