Getting on with life

Reading through my last few posts it almost appears that my entire focus for the last two months has been on the death of my mother. Well although I guess this has taken a lot of my mental focus, and maybe been the reason why I can write about nothing else, the reality is that life has continued and I have been getting on with it.

We have had a rather busy few weeks, starting with a social event at the local village hall. It was the usual format, with too much food, too much drink and a lot of work, but a good way to feel a part of a bigger group. We also had a friend staying with his two dogs, so even Gremlin got some company! The morning started with a walk, a lunchtime meal that lasted until 7.00pm, music and even some games!

I also had a week working in Bordeaux, which was hard (three nights in a city centre cheap hotel) but good to get back into things. It is just enough to keep me in touch with my interests but make me glad I gave it up as a full time job!

We have also been working to get our permanent electric supply, which we succeeded in doing last week, so for the first time in two years I can put the washing machine, toaster and dishwasher on at the same time without having to worry about tripping out the supply.

Add into that walking the dog, and all the other daily things and life has been really busy.

Life goes on

It feels strange to continue blogging with mentions of more mundane everyday things, but that is exactly what we have been doing.

One thing about dogs is that they don't have time for what happened yesterday and are concerned totally with now. So, my rather sad and contemplative mood was quickly interpreted as weakness by the stinky dog and he saw it as his chance to take over! On our daily walks all thoughts of sadness had to be put to one side while I concentrated on trying to be a strong confident pack leader! On some occasions it works but it doesn't stop the little sh*t from testing the water every morning! Never mind, I will have the last word on this as he has an appointment at the vets next week to have his b*llocks removed! We decided that there can only ever be one 'Gremlin'.

It has been unseasonably hot and dry here, with temperatures in the 30s and no rain. Everywhere looks parched and bare. It is a bit cooler at night, which at least gives us the chance to cool down and get some sleep, but dog walks need to be done early and late, when the harvest mites seem to be at their worst. These little larvae get under your skin (literally) around the sweaty areas of clothing, such armpits, groin and under your bra. They inject you with something to dissolve your skin, feed off it, drop off and leave you with the most annoying itch that lasts for days!

As I seem to be doing an animal blog, I will conclude with mention of the cat, who seems to be getting more and more demented! He is now quite deaf, miaows loudly and is hyper affectionate for the first time in his life, wanting to sleep as close to me as he can. I fear his kidney's and thyroid are on the way out, but as he is old I don't want to go through the ordeal of vets and tests and tablets and more tests that will eventually end in him getting to the end of his life anyway, so I just keep and eye on him, let him eat what he wants and worry about how many more boxes of cat food I will need to stock up on!

The end

In the end the end came quickly. Over the weekend she seemed to be asleep more than she was awake and when she was awake she pulled out her feeding tube. My sister watched her in a physiotherapy session and the only time she seemed to respond to anything was when she heard my sister's voice. Another feeding tube was inserted but she pulled it out almost immediately. Hard to know whether this was just a response to the sensation or a conscious decision on her part. If it was the latter I can't say I blame her. My sister was called to say that her breathing had deteriorated but by the time she arrived she was already dead. The most likely immediate cause was that she had been sick and inhaled her own vomit. We were left with mixed emotions as a life as the one that loomed ahead of her had she survived would have been no life.

Now it is over the idea that she was unwell for only 3 weeks before she died seems relatively short compared to what some people suffer but in the middle of it we suffered every minute of it with her and it felt like an eternity.

Strange goings on in the country

Sometimes on a Sunday I can persuade Ian to come for a walk with Gremlin and me. One of the walks we do takes us down into the village, along a couple of farm roads, and back home. On the way back we pass a dis-used quarry. It always looks very tempting and this time we decided to pop in and have a look round. (I should say this was about a month ago). It was quite a weird place. There were the remains of the workings. Ian and I were saying that probably many of the houses round here would have been built with stone from this quarry. In one corner there was an area that looked a bit like it had been used for fly tipping. There were a lot of large chunks of concrete slab, earth, gate posts etc. Ian had a good look and we did think that some of it might have some use. We decided that we might ask one of the nearby neighbours if they knew who owned it and if the items there were needed. Here is a picture of Ian and Gremlin climbing over the rubble.

There was a bit of strange smell there and I didn't feel comfortable, so we left and continued our walk.

A lot of people die here. This is probably because the population is quite old. There was yet another burial in the local graveyard attached to the church a couple of weeks ago. The graveyard is quite small and I often wondered where they put all the bodies.. (Are you beginning to work it out yet?). Once I went and had a walk round the cemetery but I didn't like it. There were lots of flies, decaying flowers and a funny smell (although it was the middle of August and hot).

This week the news broke amongst the English speaking community (although it had been news for a few days prior to that). A walker had also been in the quarry and had also been poking through the rubbish and found human remains; skulls, femurs, burial shrouds and even an old coffin. He had reported it to the police and it transpires that the local undertakers (or their employees) had been exhuming bodies to make way for new occupants. Now in France this appears to be legal under certain circumstances. The body must have been in the ground for at least 5 years and there must be no relatives, or they must give consent. The Maire must sign the authorisation and any human remains must be returned to the church where they are stored. Now the undertaker is in prison, his business closed for 6 months and he is facing charges that could mean up to a year in prison and a fine.

This is a link to an article on the local news about the events!

I am definately even more convinced than ever that cremation is the way to go!

Gosip and idle thoughts

No theme to todays posting.. just odd thoughts and observations on life here.

So here we are coming to the end of another month. The garage is slowly moving forward but weather has held us back a bit. The forecast now is looking more promising so hopefully we can crack on with it and move on to the next job! We still haven't got round to registering the car in France (as the process is fairly complex) and as the insurance runs out soon, and my UK drivers licence needs to be renewed and changed to a French one, then this job is taking on more importance.

Sunday here is the hunting day. Mostly there are one or two hunters out looking for rabbits or hare, but every month or so the whole hunt come out in force to hunt deer. It's a bit of a fiasco and looking at them out there last week I couldn't help remarking to Ian, that for the hunt organiser it must be a bit like organising a day trip for age concern, since the average age of most of the hunting contingent is well past retirement. They are usually driven to their stations in a 4x4 as they are too frail to walk there and mostly they use the gun barrel as a mobility aid. I guess that over the next few years with the old brigade dying off, so will the hunt. There are younger members but most of them suffer from the 21st century disease of too little time and too much work. I have mixed feelings. Having been anti-hunting for years I won't miss the spectacle, but at least here they eat what they kill and respect the wildlife around them, wanting to preserve natural environments so that there are plenty of things for them to shoot. Without the hunt, people would put down poison and adopt other more nasty and dangerous forms of pest control to keep the deer, rabbits and hare, etc from taking over.

Looking at the older population around here, it did strike me that it is very like "last of the summer wine." The older generation still get out and about and get themselves into mischief. One dropped dead last week after shovelling snow. He was well over 80 and I couldn't help but think what a nice way to go! The local accent and patois is also widely used amongst this group. They have names like Combo, Old Scapan and Peter Orange. Old Scapan is a hunter in his 80s who has a wife 20 years his junior. He still drives his tractor around. Peter Orange lives with his wife but they argue a lot and he has made it known that he is looking for another, much younger one. I have yet to identify the Nora Batty character but there are several candidates.

On a completely different note, the first of the three babies expected to be born in the village this year arrived recently. Well, at least I assume it did as the pregnant lady no longer looks pregnant!

Autumn jobs

Ian returned from UK as planned with another van full of materials, tools, possessions, a topper, a box for the tractor and roller shutter garage doors x2! Unloading took a couple of days but we managed with help and as the boxes just added to the clutter already here we hardly seem to notice them!

Autumn is here all of a sudden. The trees are turning and the vines have lost most of their leaves; but autumn isn't as spectacular as it is in colder parts. The days are now decidedly shorter as well and we have got up in the dark a few mornings this week.

October

One of the first jobs was to sow some grass seed in the field. We ploughed up the far end and according to the farmer it had to be sowed this week in time for the rain. Monday morning early Ian and farmer drove up and down the field several times and got the job finished! In the middle were some old hay bales that were never used. We tried to spread them but they fell apart so the farmer stuck a match and they ended up in flames! It was a bit worrying to see how easy they went up and a bit of luck that they didn't go up in the dry summer.

Burning the bales

The final job that we finished this afternoon was to hibernate the swimming pool for the winter. This involved reducing the level a little, cleaning, putting in something called 'hivernage' (winteriser). In case of freezing you add a row of bobbing half empty coke bottles. The theory is that the bottles will squash up in any ice and thus prevent the pool from cracking. After this, we covered the pool with an old cover and fixed it as securely as we could with a row of old paving stones.

Bobbing bottles

Next job will be to finish our drive, so that we are not walking in mud everytime we go out of the house. We are a long way from Little England!

Getting on

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I last made an entry here. Suddenly I have become so caught up in day to day things that I haven't had the energy to write about them, even though I have thought about many posts and things I could say.

Having the dog has forced us into some sort of routine. I get up at 7.00 or thereabouts and take him for a walk; I then give him breakfast and put him in his outside shelter while we get up. Mid-morning he has another play or walk, or comes out with us if we are going shopping, mid afternoon we do the same, followed by a longer walk in the evening and some training if we can. By this time, with any luck Gremlin is asleep in his box and sleeps through until morning whilst we are exhausted! He is growing fast and loves food, treats and play in that order. Everything else has little interest for him! I soon realised that you can read as many dog behaviour books as you like but nothing prepares you for those moments when it's just you and the dog and the dog has one idea and you have another! Before we got a cattle dog all the books said don't get a dog like this as your first dog, but we did anyway! I am not so sure that it would have helped having owned a dog before as if we were used to a nice laid back puppy we would never have been able to cope with this hyperactive over stimulated beast with ADHD! As it is, we are managing with what we have and enjoying his antics and behaviour. He seems to be thriving quite well on it!

Here he is at 13 weeks old but still a baby!

We have also had two jobs on the go to fit in around dog ownership. The first one has been to lay the base for the garage, as until the garage is built and we can move our possessions and tools into it, we can't finish off inside the house. The soil was scraped level by the builder but we have had to infill with gravel, put the shuttering in for the concrete, lay the damp proof membrane and put in the steel reinforcing. We have been fitting this in around the weather and other jobs but think we can get this done next week in preparation for the concrete, which will arrive in two lorries, ready mixed. Then we can take a small break until the autumn!

The other job has been to finish off the sofits around the tower and so prevent Renata redstart from making her third nest of the summer in our house. We had to wait to do this until the builder went on holiday and was able to lend us his heavy duty machine for getting up to the roof. He did this last week and although it was not fully operational (as with most of his machines) it did the job and we now do not have a gale blowing through the house everytime the wind blows

Ian on the machine!

I mentioned that we have been fitting in these jobs around the weather. After a hot spring and early summer we have now  had a really wet July, with storms and a fair bit of rain. Yesterday we had the most amazing double rainbow ending at our pot of gold!

Pot of gold in front of the field shelter

Heartwarming

Yesterday I found myself totally glued to the television or to the Internet, watching the rescue of the Chilean Miners. I saw almost every one of the 33 step out of the rescue capsule that had pulled them some 700 metres from below the the ground, and step into the arms of their families, friends and waiting dignitaries.  I can't remember a time when a news story has gripped me so much, except perhaps watching the events unfold on 9/11. This was totally different.  It was a wonderful positive story of people working together to save other people with a happy outcome.  I know that after this initial euphoria, it won't all end happily ever after for them all (one wife discovered that her husband had a mistress for years while he was missing in the mine!); life is not really like that. The cynic in me also noted that the politicians were there, and milking the event for their own gain; but yesterday my cynical side was pushed very much to the background. Someone commented on Facebook that it was the best reality TV show they had ever seen!

The earth moved...

Well, it did for one of my closest friends, who now lives in Christchurch, New Zealand. They were close to the epicentre of an earthquake measuring 7.1 magnitude. These are her words:

an amazing 24 hours. the earthquake the most terrfiying thing ever. It felt as tho the house was picked up and dropped many times. I woke leapt out of bed shouting "earthquake" ran to Owen's room and was screaming at him to get up. It was so loud as the ground groaned. The house shook and china and glass crashed around us. We are all happily ok but left with a chimney that needs to be pulled down.

and from her husband

we are ok after major earthquake here in Christchurch. Our chimney is a gonner and a few precious things lost but we are fine if shaken. On top of it all, it is my wifes 50th birthday today - what a way to celebrate.

I called tonight on SKYPE and ironically had the best quality SKYPE call I have ever had ..no annoying echo or time delay.. She had gone to work. The schools are closed and they are still experiencing after shocks. Last night Owen slept under the table and they slept on a matress in the living room. As I spoke they had another aftershock.  Someone had suggested that they go out for dinner, but I don't think there was anywhere to go out to!

A boys' day out

Ian and the digger made it to his friend's house in The Somme in one piece. He breezed through security with just a brief glance at his paperwork and then he was straight onto the shuttle. He decided that he was too tired to drive to the Dordogne today and spent it with his friend. I think really they both needed a day to talk boy talk and admire the digger. I spoke to him tonight..

Me: So what did you do today?
Ian: We were really busy.. We got up and went to Bricomarche (like Wickes) and then we came back and Jean-Paul came over so we went out for lunch...and then we looked at the digger..and then we planned the electrics for Kevin's flats, and then we went over to Jean-Paul's and had some champagne..and now we're back and having something to eat.
Me: Are you p*ssed then?
Ian: Maybe?

I guess this is the boy equivalent of a day out with the girls!

Interestingly the only time we have ever had any problems with security when crossing The Channel was the one time we admitted to having three cans of fire-rated expanding foam filler in the van. It is quite clear that health and safety man is more important than the anti-terrorist squad.

Over exageration?

Overheard in the gym yesterday and nearly made me wet myself with laughter!

Mother, with two children, one about six and the other about two, puts the brakes on the pram and takes the six year old to one side. Loudly and sternly (and with a very well spoken accent) she says the following:

" Now Harry, I want you to stop what you keep doing to Marcus because it is very naughty. You know, when you keep grabbing him by the chest and bouncing up and down on him. .. Because he's just a baby and you're a big boy..and it's very dangerous..and you could break his ribs.. and rupture his windpipe or puncture his lungs, or damage his heart, or make him stop breathing.. you musn't do it ever again! Now, I know he says he likes it ..but just because he likes it darling it doesn't mean it is safe.. and you are a big boy and should know better..okay?"

I don't really know why I found it so amusing since it is a serious topic, but I just thought the graphic detail was probably too much information and I found myself thinking that if I was Harry with all those ambivalent feelings towards my baby brother I might just be tempted to try a bit harder!

Writers block

Where has the week gone! Work has been busy and by the time I have got home, done the chores, cooked and eaten supper and prepared for the following morning, I have been too tired to blog. All of my creative energy has been used up during the day! At various moments during the day I have had the odd idea and thought 'I must write about that on my blog tonight', but by  the time the evening arrives it has been absorbed into the mush and fuzz of my brain.

Joys of getting older

Now I am menopausal I note with joy that I now no longer need to carry round a bag with tampons and towels in various sizes and thickness, spare knickers and painkillers. However the contents of my wash bag now includes a range of alternative products that I never needed in the past. These include haemorrhoid cream, indigestion tablets, tweezers (for the stray facial hairs) and special dental tape to clean under my bridge!

It's a dog's life

One of the things I am really looking forward to when we eventually get to France is to have a couple of dogs. I have always loved the idea but never been in the position where I could give one a fair life. There are plenty of abandoned dogs and puppies in France so I am sure when we were there we will have no difficulties in finding one suitable. However, Ian has always had a soft spot for Jack Russells and he has had part ownership of one before and knows their little foibles quite well. Jack Russells are quite rare in France but in the UK they are common and often find their way into animal rescue centres as they can be more of a handful to manage than people expect. I think we would make quite good dog owners. We will have the space, we are fit and energetic and would enjoy a dog that needs a little more than a bowl of food and its tummy rubbed once a day.

So, with that in mind I started looking on various websites for Jack Russells in need of rescue. There were quite a few but in all cases Ian and I would not qualify as prospective doggy parents because we both work full time and all agencies have a policy about not allowing dogs to go to homes under these circumstances. Also, they will not allow us to take a dog out of the country. In addition we have never actually owned a dog before which means they will not let us take on any dog that may be more challenging. (The fact that we have chosen not to have a dog before because we did not feel that we could offer one a good home is not taken into account and we are placed in the same category as someone who has never owned a dog and is not interested in them).

I do understand the thinking behind this but it is just an interesting reflection that if you have two children then you are positively encouraged to go out to work full time and leave your children in day care!

Ian's neighbour Chaverley has two children and has just acquired a large dog as 'a favour to a mate'. The dog is very good natured which is just as well as although she doesn't work at all she still leaves him shut in the house all day while she goes out!

We are infamous again

It seems that Eastbourne is in the news again; in fact, twice in one evening. The first story is rather sad and concerns the murder of man in his yacht off Thailand when he disturbed three men trying to steal a dingy. His wife was tied up and then forced to help them sail the boat back to shore. Original reports said the couple were from Eastbourne, although it turns out they were actually from Hastings, down the coast a bit.

The second story, which also made national news, was that three people died in our local hospital of Clostridium Difficile. I had the dubious pleasure of being a guest in said hospital four years ago. Several patients in my ward had clostridium as I overheard the nurses talking about it. I remember only too well the sounds and smells and tried to remember not to let anyone touch me without first checking that they had washed their hands! I was then transfered to a renal unit which had all the modern infection control procedures and equipment and was quite reassured until I overheard the ambulance man (who had just transferred a rather mad patient onto the unit and placed him in the bed opposite me) telling the staff that the patient had MRSA. At this point he was picking up papers, cups, and anything else to hand and throwing them around the ward. I decided I was well enough to leave!

Village death

As we arrived at the land on Sunday Madame Delgrano appeared in her car, smartly dressed as usual and on her way to Mass. She seemed pleased to see us and stopped the car to get out and have a chat; mostly with Ian as he speaks better French and it is less effort for her to talk with him than for her to try and work out what I am trying to say! She had watched the various stages of the build with interest (in between bouts of illness) and said she thought the house was très jolie, which is fortunate, since she has a full view of it from her house! She told us she was off to Mass and said that the following day there was a funeral in the village for a local man who had died quite suddenly.

The road up from the village gets maybe 2-3 cars an hour along it and very few stop. On Monday at about 2.30 more and more cars started to appear. They parked down by the church, up the side of the road almost up to our house and then down the chemin rurale (track). By 3.00 there were hoards of people down by the little church seemingly standing around. The gathering was still there as we drove off at 5.00.

Later we found out that the man who died was in his 70s and had gone to bed and not woken up the next morning. He had 10 children and everyone had arrived an hour before the funeral so that they could meet and chat first. It made me think about the few burials that I have attended in my life (most of my close family have preferred cremation). They have been for elderly patients where no relatives could be found and the social worker had to organise the burial. I sometimes went to keep the social worker company and there would usually be me, her, perhaps a carer or nurse and the priest! What a contrast to the scene in the village!

Conforming to stereotype

I have mentioned that I am trying to learn Tai Chi again and that I thought that age had given me a little more patience with myself. I have to say, however, that I am not sure that this rule is universal. Five of us started the class at the same time. One of them is possibly a little younger than me, one a little older and the other two past retirement. My perception is that those who are a little more mature in years are anxious to learn the whole form as quickly as possible.

As well as being targeted by over 50s dating on Facebook I also get emails for over 50s insurance. This turned out to save me over £100 when renewing my home insurance although I was a bit annoyed when the policy came through the letterbox with it's big red logo 'insurance services for the over 50s'. It was fun, however, to list my expensive mountain bike on the 'all risks' section of the policy!

The coast road to Brighton

A very quick entry tonight as the blogging has been a little slow over the last few days. It's not that nothing has happened as there is always something to write about but just that I have not been able to get my brain clear enough to put it down in words as Ian and I are in the middle of long discussions about plasterboard walls, underfloor heating, cheap toilets on eBay, the best way to lay out the bedroom (negotiations required!) and the bathroom furniture (more negotiations)! But.. I am now back at work...

Today I drove to Brighton along the coast road and the irony of Peacehaven struck me; as it is certainly not a haven nor particularly peaceful! On the main road there was a burnt out carpet shop; probably the result of an 'insurance job'. I would imagine the recession will see many more of these types of 'accidents'. Going along the coast you get to Telscombe Cliffs; marginally better and at least there are some nice sea views! A little further on Saltdean still looks like something out of the 1930s, complete with the lido and the White Cliffs cafe and then things move more and more upmarket until you get to Rottingdean, complete with the organic greengrocer and private members club! After that I headed inland and into Brighton itself!

Tea in bed

My new Christmas present from me to me arrived today and I am very exited! It is a teasmade so now I can wake up to hot tea in bed even when Ian is in London!

Ian had to phone up his mother today to ask her how to cook the vegetables in the steamer (I was out). I guess we are of some use to each other!

New Years resolutions

Ian and I had a quiet New Years Eve, watching the TV. We just about managed to stay awake until midnight, reluctantly on Ian's part and today we are relaxing. This is quite a contrast to my mother in her apartment block. The ladies decided to organise a party and everyone contributed some food and drink. My mother brought down some CDs that she had acquired for Christmas and they ate, drank, did a quiz and then sang and danced to Abba! How the older generation live!

I have decided to try and do some posts next year on my mother's life, as she remembers it. She had some interesting experiences, having been evacuated during the war as a child, cycling around France post war and raising a family in the 1960s. She has told me lots of stories but I can't remember all the details. I think it would be nice somewhere to have a record of her exploits.

I have no real New Years resolutions or expectations for the year. Ian is paying a fleeting visit to the land in two weeks to meet with the builder as it seems that the walls are now finished and we are awaiting the roof imminently!

So, to all readers, may 2009 bring you lots of happiness.