Monday, 1 September 2008

Madame Delgrano

Madame Delgrano is one of the few near neighbours that I hadn't met and as her house is almost directly opposite ours we went to say hello. We took her by surprise as she had been eating a late lunch after going to the Assumption Day mass in the town. She had unbuttoned her skirt to make way for the lunch and was just about to make herself a petit cafe as we arrived. She did not let her state of undress stop her however, and invited us to join her, quickly buttoning up her skirt as she did so.

She was probably around 70 years old; dressed unlike any of the the local women in a Hermes shirt, denim skirt, Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses and a pair of dainty stiletto sandals (left by the door). Like all the French neighbours she spent a few minutes on the social niceties before launching into the local gossip. Her topic of the day was Herman, or more pertinently his sheep, which once again had escaped and munched their way through her herb garden. She was vitriolic in her attack, referring to him only by his last name, calling him a cretin, saying that he was more stupid than his sheep and calling him a con which Ian explained as the French equivalent to d*ckhead! I was struggling to keep up with the French at this point as the speed of her attack was increasing and becoming more and more frenzied. I didn't get every word but her next sentence went something like
"well if he thinks he can f*ck with me he's got another thing coming!" (Ian described her of a good example of a French woman who thinks that she is classy enough to swear!)

We left on pleasant terms and made a mental note to make sure that the llama fencing is extra-secure!

We heard from Herman the following day. He had received a visit from the ministry of agriculture asking him to prove that his sheep were tagged and vaccinated and also one from the Gendarme, checking out a complaint that he was working on the black. He suspected that the complainant was Madame Delgrano! Turns out she was also a little cross with him for standing against her in the local election.

This is not a very clear photo but when we were there last I was so fascinated by Madame Delgrano's washing line and the neat row of black thermal vests and long johns that I tried to take a photo!

No comments: