Monday, 15 September 2008

My heart is changing

When we were in France we were talking with Hazel and Peter on one of our many visits and I was saying how, although I was sure about my decision to give up my job and live in France, the process of doing it from both the physical and the emotional point of view, was quite difficult. I am fed up with my current job but I still have a belief in the career that I have done for 30 years and unlike Ian, who contracts and has no great emotional attachment to his work, I can not say exactly the same. Hazel understood this and offered these words..

"one day you will just know that your heart has changed and you know where you want to be and then it will be more difficult to stay than to go"

I think I am beginning to understand what she meant. Getting back to work this time has been excruciating. Even tales of health and safety man can not lighten my mood enough or enable me to take my current job back into my heart in the way it deserves. I know that this will change to some degree as I get more into it but each time I go away and more aspects of the life in France become a reality my life back here seems more and more difficult. So I think Hazel is right and in the end I will just have to go physically so that my physical body can be in the same place as my spiritual one!

No comments: